During the month leading up to Rosh Hashanah, my weekday morning prayers change toward the end of the service. Standing in my tallit (prayer shawl) and tefillin (phylacteries), the moment is enriched by the daily sounding of the shofar (ram’s horn).

The blasts of the shofar evoke feelings and emotions that otherwise would not have the time nor the space to come out. As I stand in silence, and hear the shrill blast, I am reminded of what is coming. Not of the large meal and countless hours in synagogue, but I am reminded of the opportunity to start anew.

The month of Elul symbolizes that Rosh Hashanah is near. By taking a month to prepare for the Days of Awe, we take stock of where we have been and where we want to be. Rosh Hashanah therefore, is a beginning for us all, as it is literally the beginning of the new year.

Listening to the shofar, I think about relationships, goals and the need once again to find balance and harmony in the upcoming year. I think about my upcoming wedding and the moments leading up to chuppah (wedding canopy) and kedushah (holiness). I think about a transcendent God and my relationship with the Divine. Sometimes I am visual, and I think about the actual ram’s horn and its place in our history.

And sometimes, I feel empowered, knowing that this time has been carved out for independent thought patterns, with no need to be responsible or subordinate to others.

Elul is a transitional month, as it marks the end of a year. Internal, private changes happen during Elul. Hopefully, they will get me ready for Rosh Hashanah on time.

But like every year, I have a feeling, that no matter how much mental preparation I do for the New Year, I will still be stuck by the magnitude of it all, once again.