Dear Andrew,
I just had my birthday last week and now I’m freaking out. I feel like I’m behind on life!

Is this how “growing up” happens these days? What do you think?

Desperately,
N.

We’re in the same boat here, N. My thirtieth birthday was a time that has raised questions, fears, and challenges that were not there before. In the days leading up to my birthday, I experienced a mixed wave of emotions: happiness, sadness, depression, rage, love, loneliness, fear, hate, and shame. It wasn’t something I was prepared for, despite the fact my whole life was leading up to it.

The world looked different when I returned home after a night out, consisting of a harbor cruise, hotel suite, and one to countless cocktails. I wasn’t seeing the world as a more distinguished man of Jewish pride, or as a man who knew the secrets of life, but in a complex way that I didn’t have the answer for.

If you ask any of my friends, I usually have the answers to everything! Who was the American League MVP in 1958? Can you give me advice about this guy I like? Red or blue socks? So much to my chagrin, I found myself not knowing the answer to what life had in store

Since my birthday, I’ve found a reason to reinvent myself. Nothing drastic, but I can use this milestone as a reason to do things as I haven’t done them before. And, if I’m not willing to take some chances and challenge myself, I can skate by in life without being anything other than the person I have always been. I like who I am, but there is always room for improvement. I won’t elaborate, since I’ll be showing up on JDate not before long, but as I am getting older I am of a certain wisdom that allows me think of a greater picture that may have escaped me in the past.

So what does this all mean? For me, it deals with reflecting on the past and making an effort to improve off of what I have already taken away from life. There is always the opportunity to make things better. and I think I am at a point where I would like to see things become richer and more fulfilled for myself. This is my new beginning. And I have to look within myself to make these changes. They won’t happen without my willingness to make things better on a personal level. So those of you who are also searching to make changes take this opportunity and find a way that benefits yourself and propels you to the place where you have always wanted to be in life.