Let’s try a little exercise, shall we? I’m going to ask a few questions, I’ll tell you what, I’ll give you the answers, too.

Q. What’s great about being single?
A. More personal time, fewer expenses, infinite possibilities.
Q. What’s great about being single on Valentine’s Day?
A. Everyone’s looking to get laid.

Valentine’s Day can easily be the adventure of the year for you, single girls! Why aren’t you out there, doing it up?!

Now don’t get me wrong—I love my live-in boyfriend very much. I like staying in and snuggling at least as much as I like going out clubbing. But, as with all things in life, there is a definite give and take. For instance, let’s say I want to see a movie, but, inevitably, he doesn’t want to see that movie, and I don’t want to see what he wants to see…so somehow we end up seeing something neither of us wants to see (Rob Schneider, anyone?). Or I want to get dressed up and go out somewhere nice, but he’d rather stay in and watch Adult Swim. When you’re in a long-term relationship, romance often takes the backseat to comfort. And, hey, I’m okay with that. I am one of a group of women who is always in a relationship, a serial monogomist, if you will. Sometimes we perpetually-better-halves grow awfully freakin’ weary—usually right around the time Cupid starts waving that cute little single butt of his in our faces.

Yes, you read right, all you self-pitying singles—the relationship-bound envy you on Valentine’s Day! You and your Wild Valentine’s Day Night where you could end up anywhere with anyone doing anything. You lucky ducks.

As for me, I haven’t been single on Valentine’s Day since high school. Unless, of course, you count the Colossal Valentine’s Day Break-Up of 2004, when this reporter’s then-boyfriend ditched her the night before to pop pills with his pals and showed up an hour and a half late the next morning in his slippers with no Valentine’s Day gift, which led into a screaming match on the subway, which led into a very questionable hook-up with said ex-boyfriend’s Britney Spears-loving, dual-pierced-nippled friend.

But I digress.

The point is, being single on Valentine’s Day is something of a blessing. Tomorrow you may be in the best (or the worst) relationship of your life, but today, on the Holy Hallmark Day of Love, you are free to come and go as you please.

Traditionally, single women in the United States have Valentine’s Day “girl nights,” complete with pints of ice cream and gallons of nail polish. I say, put away your chick flicks! Why should you mope around on Valentine’s Day, taking comfort in the supposed “misery” Valentine’s Day propaganda says you share with your single girlfriends? Go dancing, for goodness sakes! Put on your happiest clothes, be they prom dresses or Pumas, and go have some fun! Instead of painting each other’s nails, grab your best single girlfriends and go to a wine bar and sample all of the best wines. Check out a restaurant that serves chocolate fondue (or chocolate cake, or chocolate anything). Go watch a horror film and laugh out loud at the cheesiest parts. Make out with a stranger in the back of a smoky club. Make out with your best guy friend in his mother’s living room. The night is yours — use it as you see fit!

The long and short of it is, girls, why relinquish a single night of fun just because some millionaire male in charge of the greeting card industry tells you need a guy on some Dead Catholic Saint’s day? Wear red, wear black, what does it matter? You’re single. You can go out and do whatever you want without any pressure to conform to someone else’s idea of a good time. Enjoy it while it lasts.

If you really do feel you need to meet a guy on Valentine’s Day and, for whatever reason, you’re not having any luck, the solution is simple: Go to a sports bar or a pub. If there’s beer, they will come. Chances are you’ll be able to find at least one guy you can stand enough to spend the evening with, if that’s what you’re really looking for.

But why waste your time on some random beer-guzzling moron just because you want somebody to see your special Valentine’s Day lingerie? In the end, Valentine’s Day is blown way out of proportion, and there’s no reason to get yourself worked up over being single. Why feel lonely just because Russell Stover says you should? Trust me, while you’re out having the time of your life with your friends or with your beau de la nuit, we coupled gals will be out having dinner with the same guy we have dinner with every Friday night, daydreaming about the stories you’ll tell us tomorrow.

From the editor: Can I just add that by publishing this article we added ourselves to OVER FOUR MILLION LINKS that show up if you google this very subject. Come on, people, turn off the computers! Go have fun!