Do you get a first chance to make a second impression?

Let’s be honest - it might be a cliché, but you only get one chance to make a first impression. If you, say, have a certain “je ne sais qouis” about yourself that doesn’t always go over well at first try, so then what are you left with? Well, a second impression. But will you get that chance? Do you have it within yourself to give that second chance?

For argument sake let’s pretend we are going out on a first date. I’ll assume the role of the nice Jewish boy from Lexington, MA that you met on JDate and you’ll play the role of the wonderful woman we know you really are.

We go old school and decide I’m going to pick you up at your lovely Ikea-inspired apartment. Your microwave is from Target and I’ll notice that, but that’s after our fourth date. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves here. Anyway, we’ve talked enough over email that we know we have some stuff in common. We both like Gefilte fish, we both had dogs growing up, and we both hate JDate. If you are a cat lover - substitute that in.

I ring the bell, you open the door looking breathtaking and we go out. We have a lovely meal. I order vegetarian just in case. Date goes on and everything goes well. I am filled with amusing anecdotes and speak at appropriate length about my fondness for The Lake House. At night’s end, I offer to walk to you to the front door. I figure a kiss on the cheek would be a nice way to conclude our evening…ACHOO…yeah I just kind of messed up that first date.

This is how you will remember me. We may have had a nice evening, but the next morning as soon as you sign into meebo your friends know “how the date went.” Though at first you were enjoying yourself, you wound up not looking forward to the next time.

So now you know why I initially asked if first impressions are really that important. Can someone overcome the immediate label placed upon them after the initial meeting? Is it something that can be altered with time or with a second impression? Does that chance exist? But also are you willing to give someone that second chance?

Life’s too short. It’s not worth my time. Next! Should this really be the way we live life in 2007? What I want to know is what is the harm in slowing down and taking the time to really give someone the benefit of the doubt. Worst case: Your friend Sarah was right and tells you he was a doof and honey you don’t need that – but this is after the second date. Best case: maybe you see something in him that you did like and even though he wasn’t so nice to your JCrew Swiss-dot Cooper tuxedo shirt it’s worth seeing if there is more to him. After all he did like The Lake House he can’t be that bad.

First impressions transcend many walks of life. Not just in the dating game, but everywhere. I’m not saying the guy wearing overalls and no shirt should be given a second chance at interviewing for the executive job at the banking software company. And what I’m trying to say only applies to people who are willing to be honest. If I told you I was a spinal surgeon who didn’t see the Sox win the World Series because I was imprisoned while stranded on a deserted island – then it’s okay to waive the second chance.

But if you see someone putting forth an honest effort why focus in on one thing and not allow yourself to take a step back and really take in who this person is. I just don’t want everyone to rush to judgment and shoo someone away because they might truly be someone who eventually you come to understand. Someone you value. Someone you respect. Someone you love.

It’s tricky, but I don’t think it is something to not think about. Be yourself. Allow others to be themselves and who knows what will come out of it. Time may be precious, but passing someone special by can be your enemy for an eternity.