I have called the United States home for almost a decade. By now I can easily say I do not like George Bush, Target is a modern day miracle and for many, football is a religion. It is fair to say that I have assimilated and acculturated into the society. Furthermore, it is also a fair assumption that I will be living in this country much longer, as the numbers of female rabbis in my hometown of Toronto are few and my desire to be a pioneer is negligible.

There are many ways in which I have woven myself into the fabric of Americana. I go to cool places to watch Fourth of July fireworks. Often not only do I participate in Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. events and assemblies, but I plan them as well. I have written many letters to your federal government, asking them to interfere with the tragedy in Darfur and I don’t say the word “eh” so much anymore.

One would think that I would love this holiday called Thanksgiving, but it falls off my radar screen year after year. I just don’t care about it, which might seem harsh. The truth is, I like the days off that are given to me, and I do end up spending them with friends and loved ones, and more often than not I fly home for the holiday. It is just that my family does not celebrate your Thanksgiving. And people have trouble understanding that.

I definitely grew up knowing about Thanksgiving. I saw it on television, as every situation comedy and soap opera had their own Thanksgiving special. I put together by myself the idea that if the Huxtables and the Cunnighams celebrated Thanksgiving as did the cast of Friends, then all Americans did. Before I even immigrated to the US, I already knew that on a Thursday near the end of November, all Americans ate turkey and pumpkin pie, and watched football with their families. I just was not quite sure what they gave thanks for.

There is a Thanksgiving in Canada, but it is usually either on or near Yom Kippur or Sukkot, and the Jewish holiday frequently trumps the secular one. Canadian Thanksgiving is on a Monday in October, and I grew up being taught that in general, Jews do not celebrate it. The day for me was a federal day off, the final long weekend of the season, and a good time to close up the summer cottage until it gets warm again.

I have asked many, many Americans why they celebrate Thanksgiving, and why it is a much loved holiday. They tell me that it is a good time to eat together as a family. And then I usually ask, “what about Shabbat the next night?” Then people usually tell me that the next night is a leftover turkey type of Shabbat dinner.

I honestly still don’t get it.

Why do people come together on a Thursday to eat turkey or subject others to Tofurkey? Why don’t they come together the next day on Shabbat? We Jews have been doing that since before we were Americans.

The answer I get quite frequently is that there is something nice about coming together as family, not on Shabbat or Yom Tov.

The way I see it is that the Jewish people differentiate and compartmentalize between their American patriotism and their Jewish heritage. They honor their lives as Americans, and the dreams that have been met on this golden land but once a year. Americans want a day apart, without having to do the holiday or Shabbat ritual in order to celebrate their lives as citizens of the United States of America. I understand and respect that.

Once, I actually had Thanksgiving with relatives in California when I was living there. But, I ate lasagna that was specially made for me and the vegetarian. So I still don’t get the hype of the turkey, but as a legal alien immersed in your culture, I wish you and your families the happiest of Thanksgivings this year.

Rabbi Robyn Fryer is a rabbi-in-residence at the Chicagoland Jewish High School