How do you stay in touch with friends who are far away?

Oh, the glories of e-mail. I moved to another country, and every couple of weeks send my friends an e-mail update, usually with pictures. That way, they always know what’s going on with me. Most friends don’t write back, but the ones who I am closet with always reply. I also express a kind a policy of “if you write to me, I’ll write to you” and it seems to work. Another great fun thing is to use a social network website like friendster, myspace, or facebook. It allows you to keep a blog, update friends with bulletins, and post pictures, so you can see what your friends are up to. Lastly, give them a call every now and then. Even if they don’t’ pick up the phone, a friendly voice mail will make them feel like you still remember them, and they are likely to return the gesture with a call or an e-mail.

Sara RD

I typically use email and instant messenger to keep in touch with friends who are far away. Email is especially great because you can say everything you need to without the cost of a long distance phone call or worrying about coordinating schedules every time you want to talk. Different time zones can really put a damper on calling your friends who are far away.

Lesly H.

One word: online! Be it email, instant messaging, or even a webcam, using the internet to stay in touch with friends across the miles is convenient and relatively inexpensive (provided you have a computer and internet access). You could also try creating and/or maintaining a weblog (blog) that your friends can read and comment on. It’s an easy way for you to let them know what’s new in your neck of the woods. If you try this, encourage them to do the same, so you can keep in touch easily. There’s also MySpace and Friendster, but they aren’t always as interactive as a blog or email.
Another great way to stay in touch is to use your cell phone during off peak hours (after 9pm or on weekends). Many cell phone plans offer unlimited long distance or text messaging – check with your plan provider. If you don’t have a cell phone, you can purchase calling cards in different increments ($10, for example) to make long distance calls from a land line. You can try to schedule weekly calls with your friends, if possible, at a set time each week. Personally, I love to get fun things in the mail (you know, anything other than bills), so why not drop a post card in the mail to your far away friend? It only takes a few moments of your time to let them know you are thinking of them and it doesn’t cost much.
Whatever method works best for you, remember that the most important thing is simply to communicate to your friends that you’re thinking of them. Keeping in touch is easy if you just make the smallest effort – it really goes a long way. Know that people come and go from your life and that’s perfectly natural. Friendships that are meant to last will stand the test of time and distance. If you’re really missing your friends, keep your eyes peeled for great travel deals!

Susan L.

How do you make friends/ connections in a new place?

If you moved and have a job, start talking to your co-workers, when you get comfortable ask them if they’d like to join you for lunch or a drink after work. If you’ve moved for school, just mingle with your classmates. Suggest a study-group with dinner afterwards, exchange numbers and actually touch base outside of the classroom. Also check out your local JCC, or Y, a lot of them have programs for 20-somethings, so you are sure to meet some cool people that way.

Sara RD

Just getting to know the people around you when you move to a new place is a great way to make friends. Going out for Happy Hour with your co-workers, introducing your self to your neighbors, joining a temple or even a gym; all these things expose you to a lot of different people. You may not want to be friends with all of them, but chances are the more people you meet in a new place, the more likely your chances are of finding some new friends.

Lesly H.

If you can, plan ahead. Contact anyone you know in the city or area you plan to move to, and connect with them. Let them know you’re heading there way and what your plans are (e.g. I’m moving to attend school/accepted a new job). Ask them for information on good places to live, great restaurants, things to do for fun. Remember to consider the source, also, and check things out on your own once you arrive. Not everyone has the same definition of fun or good. If possible, get to know their friends a little better. Extended networks offer many possibilities for friendships.
Once you are in a new place, work or school will usually provide you with a peer group/socialization outlet. It’s easy to connect with people when you are all “in the same boat” but chances are you won’t like everyone’s company. Seek out anyone with whom you may have some things in common (music, movies, for example). Ask questions about them and, if you are confident enough, make the first move by inviting them to coffee or a similar activity.
Try networking groups, if you are a professional or if there is some group with which you identify strongly (e.g. photography group or the JCC). Go to their activities to check things out, but always have a back up plan if you’re not feeling comfortable there.
Above all, be friendly and try to remain open to new people. Sometimes instant connections are made and you just know you’ll be friends with someone. Other times, friendships need time to grow. Given all this info, don’t feel like you have to try too hard. If you are happy and enjoying your life, you will naturally attract people who are in a similar mindset.

Susan L.

Read more about joys and benefits of friends and networking in Leah’s “Connections and the single girl”!