Dear Shebrew,

My girlfriend Erica and I have been together for two years before we broke up this past summer. The break-up wasn’t easy and I think we both said many things we regret. I’m doing better now, trying to move on with our lives.
Here is the catch, though. We’re in the same program in grad school, and I just realized we have three of the same very small classes this semester.
We don’t speak to each other and it kills me to see her every day.
Help me, Shebrew!

Break-ups suck. We’ve all had a bad break up at some point in life and it’s never an easy thing to get over. While having to see your ex on a regular basis won’t be pleasant, you have to try and not let it bother you. You don’t have to rush to get on with your life, or hurry toward making the discomfort of not being with her anymore stop, but at the same time you can’t let it drag you down. I wouldn’t be frustrated about the fact that seeing your ex so often
hurts, but I wouldn’t let it run your thoughts either. If you can occupy your mind with something other than her, bit by bit, seeing her everyday won’t be as tough as it is right now.

Lesly H

Oy vey! As my boss at Fort Lewis College said to our housing staff, “Now why would you wanna shit where you eat?” By that he meant (in a very southern way) don’t date in the department, please and thank you. But it sounds like you came into the department dating and then broke up.

So….

1. Create a new community for yourself that is not based on hating her, complaining about her, or commiserating. Make is about learning how to cook or playing raquetball or blowing off steam.

2. Use this as motivation to get a fellowship to study abroad or get an internship. Find a way to make the program about you and not about her.

3. Recognize that you do need time to grieve this. You are a student again, so go to the health center and see a counselor. Trust me, you aren’t the first student to break up during the semester. They will help you deal with this and grow from it.

Leah J.

On the not so serious note, Shebrew advice givers had a small IM conference and decided that, given that both vodka and denial can be quite handy in short term, you should start drinking and don’t stop until financial aid runs out.

Just kidding.

Good luck.