After studying abroad in Kenya during my junior year of college, I decided to apply for the Peace Corps. At the time I was single, and really wanted to spend two years exploring the world and doing as much good as possible. Luckily I was accepted! The problem is that I met a great guy halfway through my senior year of college and despite a rocky start, we’ve really hit it off. I’m supposed to leave for Tanzania at the end of July, and I’m not sure what to do. The other part of the problem is that I’d like to go to grad school for public policy after the Peace Corps, but I won’t be able to save any money doing the program. My parents can’t pay for me to go to school. Maybe I should stay in the States, get a well paying job and make a go of things with Jacob. Help me, Shebrew!

This is a tough issue since taking either path might lead to a fulfilling life. I believe you should go through life without regrets if you can help it, so you might need to sit down and make a good, old-fashioned list. What are the pros and cons of each choice? The thing is, you can always go to grad school. You could go to the Peace Corps, come back, work for a few years and then go to school. Some business even offer tuition assistance if what you’re studying coincides with what you’re doing for a living. The boyfriend is a separate issue though since he might not be here when you get back from the Peace Corps. You’d potentially be giving up a lot staying to be with him and there is the risk that you’d come to resent him for holding you back. I don’t think there is any advice you can get to make this decision, it has to be something you decide on your own so you won’t end up down the road regretting your choice. You have to be comfortable with your choice and be in control of what that choice is. If I was in your situation, I’d probably go into the Peace Corps. Travelling throughout the world isn’t something you can always do. Life gets in the way, work and family play a big part in tying you down to one location, so now, when you’re young, is the time to see as much of the world as you can. But, I again say, this decision is up to you and only you. Whatever you decide to do, stand firm in your choice and make sure you’re doing exactly what is best for you, what will allow to continue without regret.

-Lesly Hershman

I had a similar problem before I left for a year-long study abroad in Australia. I started seeing someone about 3 months before I left, and I really wrestled with whether I should stay and explore this fantastic relationship, or continue on with my plans. Utimately I decided that I had to go, and although being on opposite sides of the earth didn’t work for us–we broke up a few weeks into my trip–I learned so much about myself and had so many incredible experiences, I have never regretted my choice. You already know from your study abroad how much you can gain from your travels, not to mention how much the country you’re visiting will gain by having you there. You’ll do things in the Peace Corps you’ll carry with you for the rest of your life. Don’t let an opportunity like that slip past you.

As for the money, there’s always a way to make your education happen. You’ve probably looked into scholarships and grants, but ask the school what they can do for you as well. If all else fails, there’s always a loan; it can be a scary debt to take on, but think of it as an investment in your future career (and your future salary).

–Sarah Lyons

L’chi lach!

It is that simple and timeless, “Go, go forth.” You have a once in a lifetime chance to do Jewish in another country. Not missionary work, but the work of tikkun olam. You have a responsibility as a Jew to make the world a better place and you have the next two years to do that.

Granted, you can do tikkun olam anywhere. You could do it staying home or you could challenge yourself and go abroad. I’ve lived abroad
twice and during the second a relationship that I thought would be very important withered and ended. It was heart breaking and I was heartbroken. In the end, it was worth it.

Money will come for school and love will come when the timing is right. Perhaps he is your beshert. If he is, he wants to see you grow while you take on the world. If he isn’t, he isn’t–you still took on the world.

L’chi lach.
–Leah Jones

Go to Tanzania. I was in a very similar situation myself, and chose to leave my girlfriend and firends for graudate school abroad, something which i had wanted to do since my senior year of college. I am glad i did it. You should too. While Jacob may be a wonderful man for you, you shouldn’t have to put your dreams on hold for him, becuase you may end up regretting it, or resenting him for staying. You may never have the chance again, and there are loans for gradaute school. If Jacob is the right person for you, you may be able to be together when you return. If not, at least you would have been able to be part of the Peace Corps, and live out the life you wanted for yourself.

–Sara-Rivka Davidson