There is perhaps nothing more mythical or more frightening to a Jewish woman than an uncircumcised penis. While we were at summer camp, that laboratory of sexual experimentation for all American children, we had only good Jewish shmeckle to chafe and grind. Most American baby boys have had their tips nipped while in the hospital anyway, so even when we got to college and slept around with the altar boys and rugby players, we still were encountering circumcised cock.

Because of that whole covenant-with-God thing, there’s not really a question about whether Jewish boys should be circumcised. But in the goyish world, it is a fierce and very polarized debate. Opponents argue that genital mutilation of boys or girls is wrong and it traumatizes baby boys. “Why would you want to deaden the sensation in the penis?” they ask. They also argue that there’s no biological reason to remove a perfectly good functioning piece of the human body.

Proponents argue that for hygienic reasons, circumcision is a good idea. Circumcision has also been shown to reduce the risk of penile cancer and the transmission of some STDs. Some also contend that since the practice is so common, particularly in the US, people don’t want their boys to think that they look different or weird. The latest arguments in favor of circumcision are several studies indicating that circumcised me are almost 50% less likely to be infected by HIV than uncircumcised men.

My first encounter with foreskin was a disaster. Having made out all night on the dance floor with this boy, we arrived back at my place with him fully errect. This, coupled with the fact that it was 4am and we had had 8 shots of tequila between us meant that there was no
way for me to know what difference lie beneath the boxers. As I set to work on a blow job, he recoiled in pain. What had I done? I knew I was good at this, so why was this boy not moaning in gratitude for my oral prowess? We moved on to some less than mediocre sex and while
lying in the aftermath, it occurred to me to ask if he was circumcised.

“Nope,” he replied, pawing at his hooded weenie.

“Oh!” I said, smacking my forehead for my own stupidity. “That’s why the head was so bad! I’m sorry for that, by the way. I’ve just never seen a uncircumcised dick before, let alone used one. Can you teach me how it works?”

He was taken aback, but obliged this eager student. Here’s what Iearned:

The goyish cock is MUCH more sensitive than good-old Semitic cock. Be gentile (pun intended), and not just when Mr. Winky is hiding out in his turtleneck. Even when erect, the skin that emerges from the foreskin is very sensitive and cannot tolerate even the slightest
hint of teeth. The foreskin is pretty neat in that is generates its own lube and slides easily back and forth along the head of the penis. While getting a boy aroused, keep this in mind and use it to your advantage.

With no clear-cut end to the circumcision debate in sight, the best thing a Jewish woman can do is prepare her self for an encounter with the hooded one. This will make you and your uncircumcised partner happy. Otherwise, you could just confine yourself to dating only date Jewish men. This will definitely make your mother happy.