We asked our readers and writers about relationships, on-line dating, their hopes, fears and even [gasp!] Valentine’s day.

Here is what they tell us:

I’m still undecided about on-line dating. I think online dating is a great way to fish around. It’s easy to do after a long day at work when you don’t have the energy to get out. The downside, however, is that it is very easy to form the wrong impression too quickly about a person. Not to mention that sometimes online relationships drag on too long before becoming real encounters, but I feel that a true connection can only be made in person. Spending too much time online just cements wrong impressions and expectations.

…little things can carry a lot of meaning. Such as warming up a towel in the dryer while your loved one is showering so that when they get
done they will have something warm to wrap up in. Or picking up some flowers on the way home from work. I’ve also learned that there is
always more we can learn about love and once you stop learning, the relationship stops growing.

Eric, single and looking

The best lesson I’ve learned over the course of all my relationships is simply to just have all the relationships. All the experiences, whether they turn out good or bad, teach you something about yourself and you own wants and needs. Never be afraid to love and experience a relationship just because it might fail.

Lesly, in a long-term relationship

The best thing about being single is what, when newly single, had seemed horrifying. Coming home alone. Getting in bed by myself. Falling asleep when I’m ready, wearing whatever I like, not whatever looks good. Getting up when I need to with bad breath, bad hair, a bad attitude.

…I get scared of getting bored. My girlfriends are all interesting, smart, beautiful people. They make me laugh. They’re there for me. Most men that I meet just don’t live up in the end. I am also scared of heights. So I often fear a new date will suggest hiking. Or a trip to the Empire State Building.

Jessica, single and appreciating it

“Love” may be something you need to experience with a few people before you know it really is love.

Andrew, single

And finally, drum roll, please, - Valentine’s Day: Yay or Nay?

Jessica: Valentine’s Day is fun if you’re single. A few girls getting together. Movies. Thai food. Chocolate. Bitching. That seems infinitely more appealing than a real date. I’ll take Valentine’s Day. Just leave the awkward dinner and bad sex to someone else.

Eric: Definite yay. I think its important to have a day that can serve as a reminder about love. We all should take more time during the year to express our love to others. Too many people make it a self-servingday though (what kind of love can I receive today) instead of treating it as Hallmark intended (what kind of love can I share with others today).

Lesly: From a religious perspective, Valentine’s Day a holiday Jews should celebrate. I don’t recall any Biblical stories that involved G-d helping two people to fall in love. If he didn’t interfere in that way historically, I doubt this holiday could have somehow been inspired by Him. G-d tells his people to love each other on a regular basis, not save up all the emotion to outpour on this one day a year. It’s a Hallmark holiday that we should’t be expected to observe. I also don’t agree with creating a holiday that makes people who aren’t in a relationship feel left out, feel like they’re missing something. If we feel the need to celebrate couples, then we should also celebrate singles.

Andrew: Nay, because I’m single and it’s not a good first-date date.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?
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