In my never-ending quest to find my place in my Jewish community I accepted an invitation for Shabbat services at another temple in my area. It wasn’t your typical Shabbat service and I was a little nervous about what to expect. Going to services especially geared for people in their 20’s and 30’s seemed to me like a cover-up for a singles event. I have a boyfriend and didn’t want to spend my Friday night getting hit on by men who thought my attending Shabbat meant I was available.

But, I’d found a new friend to go to services with, so one Friday night I rushed home from work to get ready for Soul Food Friday. The first good thing was that service didn’t start until 7:30 so I was actually able to go home after work and decompress for about 30 minutes before walking over to temple. I met my new friend for the first time. She came with a big group, which immediately put me at ease. I could fall back on them should things get awkward with all the lonely men I thought I was going to encounter.

Services were amazing. I was catapulted back to my days at summer camp. There was lots of singing and a band to accompany the rabbi. Everyone was there to pray and sing along to melodies I actually knew. People were getting up and clapping, swaying to the music, enjoying prayers. All the silent moments during the High Holidays, where I felt like an outsider, were replaced with encouraged participation. We were even given a long moment, with musical accompaniment, to meet the rest of the young people around us. Nobody looked at me like I didn’t belong because they were all relatively close to my age, probably in similar positions to myself.

After services, we were greeted with the Soul Food part of Shabbat, the oneg. Every type of Jewish soul food was laid out before us to enjoy. I hit up the Matzah ball soup first–I couldn’t resist! My misconceptions about what the night would be like were quickly dissipating. They all completely disappeared when I started the obligatory schmoozing. I didn’t mention my boyfriend. He’s not Jewish and I didn’t want all the questions that come from practicing Jews about interfaith relationships, so I guess I appeared single. Big sigh of relief, I didn’t get hit on. I talked to lots of different people because that’s all they wanted to do, talk. All the typical tidbits of small talk were exchanged; where we lived, what we did for a living, whether or not we were still in school. I even had one guy asking where my boyfriend was, assuming I had one. It was one of the most comfortable evenings at temple I’d ever had.

I left services feeling like I’d found a place in my Jewish community I could be comfortable. I am sad Soul Food Fridays are only once a month and am looking forward to going next month. I am not ready to give up on the temple I actually joined, but am optimistic that you don’t have to settle for services that make you uncomfortable. Everyone can find the right way to worship if they look hard enough.

Soul Food Fridays are held once a month at Temple Israel in Brookline, MA. Rabbi Jeremy S. Morrison officiates. Soul Food Fridays are a part of The Riverway Project; an organization that works with younger Jews throughout the city of Boston.